I love it when you are talking non-stop,
I love it when you are sulking and pouting your lips,
I love it when you look into my eyes,
I love it when you close your eyes because you look so calm,
I love it when you cook my favourite dishes,
I love it when you burnt the toast in the morning.
I love your voice and when your shut me up,
I love your sleek black hair and your unkempt stubble,
I love your smell and and how you feel in me,
I love your smile and when you're next to me.
I love you for what you believe in, I love you,
I love you for loving me all your life,
I love you and if I couldn't love you,
To love you is the thing I love.
I love you when you tickle me,
Even when I told you to stop,
I love you when you just woke up,
Even when you refuse to kiss me until you brush your teeth,
I love you when you laugh,
Even when you look so hilarious,
I love you when you cry,
Even when you keep on requesting for hot chocolate.
I love it when you call my name in your sleep,
So that I can tease you the next morning,
I love it when you call me in the middle of the day,
So that you can listen to me talking in your silence,
I love it when you just stay put,
So that I can just hold you.
I love you for I love you,
I love you for your love to me.
January 23, 2015
January 21, 2015
Dia - Lima Puluh
“So, when would he be here?” tanya abang Kamahl kepadaku
sedang kami menunggu makanan yang baru
sahaja di pesan.
“Siapa?”
“The consultant guy, yang adek bagitahu abang haritu.
“Owh, Sabtu tengah hari, dalam pukul 2 lebih kurang.”
“Ok. Here’s something for you.” Tambah abang Kamahl
sambil menghulurkan aku satu plastik kecil.
“Apa ni?” tanyaku sambil mengeluarkan kandungan plastik
tersebut. Di tanganku terdapat satu canister besi yang berwarna hitam
kemerahan, setinggi hampir 5 inci. Aku melihat dengan teliti canister tersebut.
“American Defender Pepper Spray. Huh? Untuk apa ni?”
“For you to use it of course. In case he’s trying to do
something to you.”
“Hahahaha. Adoi. Mana jer abang dapat ni? Plus, legal ke
kalau guna benda ni?”
“Abang jumpa dekat Ikano hari tu. Legal la pepper spray
ni. Kalau illegal takkan abang bagi dekat adek pula.”
“Tak ada maknanya dia nak buat something dekat adek.
Bukanya dia sex offender ke, maniac ke apa.”
“Yer la, sebab tak tahu la kena prepare tau. Ok la ni abang
belikan pepper spray tu. Paling habis pun mata dia pedih jer. Kalau tak,
mula-mula abang nak bagi adek baseball bat abang yang kat rumah tu. Tapi
karang, takut patah riuk pulak jadinya.”
“Alah, tak ada apa-apa lah. Abang ni suka kan risau
lebih.”
“Ha, degilkan tak nak dengar cakap abang.”
“Heee, yer lah yer lah.”
“Excuse me sir, here are your starter and drinks. Classic
nachos, orange juice and apple juice.” Tiba-tiba muncul seorang pelayan bersama
dengan sebahagian makanan yang di pesan. Cuma main course sahaja yang masih
belum sampai.
“Thanks.” Kata abang Kamahl.
“Anyway, what’s your plan for tonight?”
“Plan? Balik rumah lah. Esok kan kerja.”
“Bunked over at my place.”
“Boleh jer.” Jawabku ringkas kepada cadangan abang Kamahl
itu.
Kami terus bergerak pulang ke rumah abang Kamahl setelah
menghabiskan makan malam. Setibanya di sana, abang Kamahl bingkas ke dapur
membuat minuman panas sementara aku memasukan baju dan seluar yang dipakai kami
ketika climbing kedalam mesin basuh untuk di cuci, dan menukar kepada seluar
pendek bersihku yang tersedia di dalam bilik. Sekembalinya aku ke ruang tamu,
kelihatan abang Kamahl sedang bersandar di chaise lounge sofa sambil menghirup
perlahan minuman yang di sediakan tadi.
“I made warm milk for you.” Kata abang Kamahl kepadaku.
“You’re having milk too?”
“Hot chocolate.” Balas abang Kamahl dengan mukanya yang
stoic itu.
“Alaaaaa. Why am I having a warm milk while you’re having
hot chocolate? Adek pun nak hot chocolate juga.”
“I thought you love warm milk?”
“But I love hot chocolate too.”
“Ok lah, have mine.”
“Hehehehe. Thanks abang.” Balasku sambil duduk di sebelah
abang Kamahl. “So, how’s work?”
“Just the usual. I’m going to Pittsburgh end of the
month.”
“Owh, for how long?”
“Around 2 weeks. Will be at Pittsburg for 7 days and
heading to New York after that.”
“Suweeeeet.”
“Nak apa-apa tak?”
“Hehehe. Menyesal pulak abang nanti tanya macam tu.”
“Jangan lah mintak banyak-banyak. Tak kesian kat abang
ke?”
“Tak banyak pun. Adek nak, hi-top trainers Kris Van
Assche. Tu jer.”
“Apa kejadah tu?”
“Kasut la.”
“Bukan kat rumah tu berlambak kasut adek dalam almari.
Dalam kotak tak pernah buka pun ader juga kan.”
“Alaaaaaaaaaaaa. Pleaaassseeeeee. Kasut tu lawa lah.
Boleh lah. Please.”
“Yer lah yer lah. Saiz 7 kan?”
“Yup. Hehehehe.”
“Lagi? Dildo tak nak?”
“Ala dildo dekat sini pun ada jual. Beli online jer lagi
senang.”
“Yang ni custom-made punya.”
“Custom made?”
“Aaaah, ikut saiz and bentuk kote abang.”
“Hahahaha. Sengal la abang ni. Kalau kote abang baik yang
original punya. Lagi best, siap ader air mani pekat, banyak lagi.”
“Suke kan cakap pasal kote abang.”
“Abang yang mula dulu. Hehehe. Abang, baring bang.”
Pintaku supaya abang Kamahl berbaring di atas sofa L ini. Abang Kamahl lantas
berbaring dengan melapikkan bantal di kepalanya. Kemudian aku turut sama
berbaring, dengan kepalaku di rehatkan di perut abang Kamahl. “Cerita apa kita
tengah tengok ni?” Tanyaku lagi.
“While you were sleeping.” Balas abang Kamahl pendek.
“Best ke?”
“Best juga.”
“Cerita ni pasal apa jer?”
“Erm, the heroine,
Sandra Bullock saved a guy and he went into coma. The family thought that she
was the fiance of that guy. She tried to tell the truth, but she can’t.”
“Macam bosan jer.”
“Tengok jer. Baru tau best ke tak.”
“Okaaaay.
“Huh? What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“Abang.” Panggilku perlahan.
“Yup.”
“If, we’re not together as brothers, do you think that we
would be together, as a couple?”
“Why do you asked?”
“I’m just, wondering. Would we?”
“Most probably. But maybe not.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you know the answer already?”
“That’s not fair. Answer me please.”
“Sigh, my sweet, charming, cute, sexy, hot, naughty adek.
I love you so much. I care about you, and I want to do that forever. For me,
you’re always my little adek. And I don’t think I could love you more as I did
if we’re a couple. And somehow, I knew, you will find someone to be your man,
like how you found Khai. Whatevernot, you are still my little adek. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Kami berdua kemudian hanya terdiam menumpukan perhatian
kepada filem yang terpasang sedari tadi. Perlahan-lahan nafas abang Kamahl
menjadi perlahan, dan seketika kemudian, kedengaran dengkuran perlahan darinya.
“Tidur dah abang.” Aku perlahan-lahan bangun dan meletakkan kedua mug kedalam
sinki, sebelum baju yang ku cuci tadi di sidai dan comforter abang Kamahl di
ambil dari biliknya. Badan abang Kamahl di selimuti lantas aku kembali berbaring
di atas perut abang Kamahl di dalam gelap.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tidur panjangku terjaga apabila sesuatu yang lembut
menyentuh perlahan hujung hidungku. Buat seketika, lalu ia terhenti. Aku hanya
membiarkan sahaja. Namun beberapa detik kemudian, sekali lagi ia menyapa.
“Sayang, papa nak sleep lagi la.” Ngomelku perlahan.
Namun, semakin ganas asakan yang di berikan. Kalau tadi
hanya sekadar di penghujung hidungku, kini kesayangan ku menyondol perlahan di
pipiku. Akhirnya aku membuka mata. Kelihatan Zach tersengih-sengih di sambil memegang
kucingku yang masih lagi di hadapan mataku.
“You know you’re bigger than him and I can see you you
clearly.”
“Finally you’re awake. We’ve been trying to wake you up
since ages.”
“Owh man, don’t you think it’s still early to be up,
Zach?”
“It’s 5 minutes to 9 am. By definition, it’s the right
time get out from bed.”
“You know you can be a pain in the arse, ya know.”
“Oy bloke, drop that fake accent. It sounds weird.”
“Whatever. Now, could you please enlighten me why you’re
fully clothed, with your dorky cap?”
“Urm, breakfast? What else?”
“Can’t you just settle with Koko Crunch or a toast?”
“When in Rome, do as the Roman do. That’s my way of
living. So when I’m in Malaysia, I would only settled for Roti Canai and Nasi
Lemak. Can we go and get the nasi lemak at the junction close to the 7E. I love
that aunty’s dried beef thing. What did you call it?” That brown, chocolatish
one.”
“Rendang.”
“Rendeng”
“Rendang.
“Ok got it. Now can you please, chop chop. It would be
your fault if they are out of it when we get there.”
“Owh man, can’t you just go there by yourself, it ain’t
that far. You’re not going to get lost from a little walk in the morning.”
“I want to, since waiting for you to wake up means the
deprivation, starvation and hunger for me. But, in case you’re having a short
term memory loss, it’s rude to just point this this this to that aunty.”
“You know, You’ve been having the same thing almost
everyday for the past 2 months, and you still can’t remember what is the name
of that food. Huh. Don’t you think you’re the one with short term memory loss?”
“Shut up. Now hurry up. Just wash your face.”
“Ay ay.”
“Owh ya, someone called you on your cell while you were
still dozing off. Few times.”
Aku mencapai telefonku yang terletak di atas meja,
terdapat 3 panggilan dari nombor yang tidak di kenali. And a message. Voicemail
notification, and it’s the same number. Sambil aku berjalan ke bilik air untuk
mencuci muka dan memberus gigi, aku mendail nombor voicemail tersebut. Kedengaran
suara seorang lelaki di hujung talian, suara yang tidak aku berapa kenali.
October 03, 2014
Dia - Empat Puluh Sembilan
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure”
“What did you do? Do you know who gave you the virus?”
“Herm. I, I, I don’t think it’s fair for you to ask me what did I do. Yeah,
I did mistakes, for not protecting myself. I let my judgement to be clouded. ”
“Do you know who gave it to you?”
“No, I don’t. And I don’t want to know either.”
“Didn’t you use condom at all?”
“You know what, previously, I never thought of using one. And I never did,
back then.”
“At all?”
“Never, at all.”
“What about your sexual life?”
“What about it?”
“Now that you have the virus in your body, are you still sexually active?”
“Let’s just say, I haven’t had sex for a long time.”
“Good.”
“Why did you say that?”
“I mean, you’re a carrier, you don’t want to infect others, do you?”
“Just because I’m HIV+, that doesn’t mean that I should never, ever have
sex again.”
“But aren’t you afraid that you’re going to infect the other guy?”
“HIV is not that easily transmittable, dude. Plus, if I were to have sex
again, I’ll make sure I’ll be using condoms all the time.”
“But it’s going to be hard, don’t you think?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, having to tell others about your status.”
“I’m puzzled. Why do I have to tell everyone about my status?”
“Don’t you have to?”
“Do I have to?”
“Then no one knew?”
“Few of my close friends knew.”
“Then why did you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I just did.”
“Would you disclose your status if you’re about to have sex together with
that guy?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Does it matter?”
“Of course it does! You guys are about to have sex?”
“Dude, does it matter if I didn’t tell him? It’s not that I’m going to have
it bareback like before. Plus, I’ve been on meds for a while, my viral count
has been undetectable for a long time. Even if I chose not to use condom, which
is not going to happen, the chances of me infecting that guy is very very very,
very low.”
“But you still carry the virus with you. And why are you taking chances?”
“I am not taking chances. I know what I’m doing. I’m doing all I can to
ensure that no one is to be infected from me.”
“But it is your responsibility to protect others!”
“Just what are you saying? That the responsibility to protect everyone is
on me?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you think that everyone should bare the responsibility to protect
others? Even the so-called HIV- people.”
“We don’t have the virus. So don’t lump us together.”
“Wow, can you hear yourself? At one point you’re talking about
responsibility, and now you are pushing that responsibility to everyone but you
yourself.”
“The person whom you are about to have sex with have the right to know
about your fucking HIV status dude.”
“And don’t you think that I too have the right to whom should I tell?”
“You’re impossible. Like it or not, you have it in your body till you die,
and you have the nerve to not telling others about it. You’re sick.”
“You know what Fareez, why don’t you just go? Just walk away from my life
if you think that I’m such a despicable
guy.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, since I’m leaving.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Abang, abang dah sampai ker? Adek dah on the way nak
sampai lift ke Camp5 ni.” Whatsapp aku kepada abang Kamahl.
“Abang pun dah nak sampai dah. Tunggu abang jap.”
“Ok abang.”
Sementara menunggu abang Kamahl tiba di lift yang di
maksudkan, aku mencapai botol minuman yang berbaki sedikit lagi whey protein
berperisa chocolate dari Optimum Nutrition yang ku bawa dari rumahku. Aku yang
masih lagi meneguk minuman tersebut terlihat kelibat abang Kamahl yang sedang
berdiri di hadapanku. Dia sudah pun tersedia memakai seluar pendek dan sehelai
t-shirt merah menunggu aku.
“What are you having?” tanya abang Kamahl kepadaku.
“Whey protein. Nak?” tanyaku pula sambil menghulurkan
botol minuman ku kepada abang Kamahl.
Lantas abang Kamahl mencapai botol minuman tersebut lalu
menghabiskan baki minumanku.
“Amboi, dahaga sangat ke?”
“Heee. A bit lah. Busy sikit hari ni so abang tak minum
air sangat.”
“Abang ni lah. Jom.” Kataku kepada abang Kamahl sambil
kami berdua masuk kedalam lif untuk menuju ke tingkat 5.
“So what’s the plan for today?”
“We’ll start with bouldering and then proceed to lead
wall.”
“Don’t you think that I’m kinda too old for bouldering?”
“Hahahaha. Penampar nak? Bouldering is great for warming
up ok.”
“Yer lah yer lah.”
Setibanya kami di Camp5 yang berada di level 5, jam
sudahpun menunjukan pukul 6.25 petang. Banyak masa yang boleh di habiskan di
sini sebelum ia tutup. Selepas masing-masing mengimbas kod bar di membership
card, kami mendapatkan chalkbag di kaunter dengan harga RM3 setiap satu. Aku
dan abang Kamahl masing-masing mempunyai harness, set belay, tali dan kasut
mendaki kami sendiri.
Ketika aku dan abang Kamahl mula berjinak-jinak dengan
aktiviti wall climbing, kami bermula di Nomad Adventure yang terletak di
Subang, berhampiran dengan rumah abang Kamahl. Untuk beginner, Nomad Adventure
merupakan tempat yang sesuai untuk menimba pengalaman. Namun, setelah beberapa
lama, kami mula beralih ke Camp 5 yang terletak di One Utama kerana di sini
terdapat lebih banyak kepelbagaian reka corak dinding yang boleh diterokai dan
tahap kesukaran yang berbeza. Setahu aku juga, Nomad Adventure telah pun di
tutup hampir setahun yang lalu. Sedih juga pabila aku mendapat perkhabaran
tersebut kerana bukan sahaja Nomad Adventure merupakan indoor wall climbing
area yang pertama di buka di Malaysia, banyak kenangan, kebanyakanya jatuh dari
boulder dari ketinggian 5 ke 10 meter ke bawah. Hahahahaha. Selain itu juga, di
sinilah aku mendapatkan lesen belayer aku dahulu semasa mengambil basic wall
course.
Kadar bayaran untuk keahlian Camp 5 kurasakan agak
berpatutan dengan perkhidmatan dan kemudahan yang di sediakan di sini. Ianya di
buka setiap hari. Pada hari biasa, ianya di buka dari pukul 2 petang hingga 11
malam manakala pada hujung minggu dan cuti umum pula, ia beroperasi seawal 10
pagi ke 8 malam. Para climbers, atau mereka yang berhasrat untuk merasai adrenalin
rush apabila memanjat batu dengan menggunakan kekuatan sendiri, dan dengan
hanya mengharapkan tali sebagai support, pastinya merasakan Camp 5 merupakan
antara indoor climbing wall yang mencabar.
Terdapat 2 jenis membership yang di tawarkan di sini.
Bagi yang baru berjinak-jinak dan tidak pasti samada mahu menjadikan climbing
sebagai satu rutin, mereka boleh memilih limited membership untuk single entry
mahupun untuk 10 entry dengan tempoh sah selama 1 tahun. Bagi mereka yang
mahukan unlimited entries pula, terdapat pilihan unlimited membership selama 3
bulan, 6 bulan ataupun selama setahun pada kadar RM388, RM688 atau RM1088 untuk
membership selama setahun. Namun, membership ini hanyalah untuk fee kemasukan,
manakala peralatan lain seperti climbing rope, harness, belayer set, climbing
shoes boleh di sewa dengan harga yang berpatutan. Namun, di sebabkan aku dan
abang Kamal merupakan climbing junkies, kami memilih untuk memiliki sendiri
peralatan kami. Jadi kami tidak lagi perlu menyewa peralatan tersebut.
Sejurus selepas meletakan barang-barang kami, kami menuju
ke satu sudut di bouldering cave yang terletak di bahagian belakang tingkat
satu. 10 minit pertama di habiskan dengan melakukan regangan badan dan
memanaskan badan. Sungguhpun aku menyatakan yang bouldering cave merupakan
tempat yang sesuai untuk melakukan regangan badan, ini tidak bermakna yang ia
merupakan suatu yang mudah. Ini adalah kerana bouldering cave adalah tempat
yang terbaik untuk mengasah kembali skill memanjat. Bouldering lebih memfokuskan
kepada technical moves berbanding rope climbing kerana bouldering memerlukan
langkah-langkah seperti lock-off, side-pull, gaston dan lain-lain. Di sini,
para pendaki bakal di cabar dengan dinding setinggi 10 meter yang mana
kebanyakan dinding adalah dinding yang senget. Ke atas, bawah, menyilang,
upside down, adalah antara beberapa arah laluan yang sering kali dapat di
perhatikan di sini. Kebanyakan dinding bermula dengan tahap kecondongan 10
darjah sehingga pendakian 45 darjah yang terjulur keluar yang mana pastinya
menguji kekuatan tangan dan bahagian atas badan pendaki terutamanya, namun
kekuatan kaki juga diperlukan.
“You wanna go first?” Tanya abang Kamahl kepadaku.
“Abang naik dulu lah.”
“Ok.”
Setelah meneliti kawasan persekitaran kami, abang Kamahl
memilih satu sudut rendah untuk memulakan pendakianya. Sudut tersebut yang
berkecondongan hampir 70 darjah, hanya setinggi lebih kurang 1.2 atau 1.3 meter
sahaja. Jadi, abang Kamahl perlu mencangkung di lantai ataupun di posisi
sit-start sebelum mencapai pemegang yang di sediakan.
“Climbing.” Sahut abang Kamal, menandakan permulaan
pendakian dan juga supaya aku memulakan masa.
Disebabkan abang Kamahl bermula di satu cavity yang
berbentuk L yang terbalik dari atas, sekejap sahaja sebelum kepalanya menyentuh
permukaan atas cavity tersebut, cavity ini juga dikenali sebagai overhang.
Abang kamal yang sedikit tergantung dari lantai, mendongakan kepalanya
kebelakang bagi mencongak grips yang dirasakan sesuai untuknya. Setelah mencapai
satu jug yang dirasakan sesuai, kaki kananya bergerak menuju satu crimp yang
berdekatan. Kini abang Kamahl tergantung di siling caviti tersebut seperti
seekor cicak di siling.
“Ok bang. Next would be your left hand, there’s a crimp 1
o’clock of you.” Kataku kepada abang Kamahl. Sambil berhati-hati memegang erat
satu undercling, abang Kamahl menarik badanya yang tergantung itu merapati
siling sebelum dengan pantas mencapai grips yang aku maksudkan. Lantas
kemudian, kedua kakinya bergerak menukar dari satu grip ke grip yang lain
sehingga kini keseluruhan badanya mencapai di permukaan yang terkeluar 45
darjah dari lantai. Abang Kamahl mula menambahkan halaju pendakianya. Satu demi
satu grips di capai.
Hampir 10 minit kemudian, dia akhirnya mencapai ke jug
terakhir yang terletak di siling.
“Time.”
“12 minutes, 46 seconds.” Balasku.
“Damn.” Kata abang Kamahl yang sedang melakukan
cut-loose, ataupun kedua kakinya bebas tergantung dari siling dan hanya
menggunakan kekuatan kedua tanganya untuk kekal di atas.
“You took close to 6 minutes to clear the cavity la
abang.”
“Yeah. Ok, abang nak turun ni.”
Aku yang berdiri hampir di bawah abang Kamahl berganjak
sebelum abang Kamahl melepaskan pegangan tanganya dan jatuh ke bawah. Aku
mencapai kain yang terselit di pinggang seluar abang Kamahl lantas meletakan di
mukanya yang masih lagi terbaring di atas tilam di lantai. Owh ya, keseluruhan
permukaan lantai di lapik dengan tilam tebal ataupun crash pad. Ini adalah kerana
untuk melakukan bouldering, harness dan tali tidak digunakan. Jadi, the fastest
way to get down is, to let go of your hands and fall.
“Your turn.” Kata abang Kamahl sambil mengesotkan badanya
sedikit ke belakang. “Take your time k. Hahaha” tambah abang Kamahl lagi yang
masih lagi berbaring di atas tilam tersebut.
Aku mengambil posisiku di cavity yang sama sebelum
memulakan pendakianku. Melihat abang Kamahl mendaki sebelum aku tadi memberikan
gambaran laluan yang boleh di gunakan. Namun, laluan yang abang Kamahl gunakan
tidak semestinya sama dengan laluan yang akan ku ambil. Faktor seperti
ketinggian abang Kamahl, juga, kekuatan tangan dan bahagian atas badan perlu di
ambil kira. Aku mencongak di dalam kepalaku akan laluan yang akan ku ambil.
Grip demi drip, langkah demi langkah. Akhirnya aku tiba
di jug terakhir yang di boltkan di siling. “Time.” Kataku kepada abang Kamahl.
“14 minutes, 05 seconds.”
Aku terus melepaskan tanganku dan jatuh terbaring di
tilam. Tanganku di hulurkan, “Tengok.” Kataku meminta jam tersebut.
Aku dan abang Kamahl kemudian sekali lagi bergilir-gilir
mendaki bahagian yang sama untuk 2 pusingan lagi. Sejurus kemudian, kami mula
beralih ke tingkat 2. Namun, kami tidak menuju ke arah tangga untuk ke tingkat
2. Sebaliknya, kami menuju ke dinding vertical yang terletak di bahagian luar
bouldering cave dan memanjat ke atas. Kami berdua terus memanjat serentak dan
setibanya di bahagian atas, tenaga di kerahkan untuk menghayunkan badan untuk
mencapai ke permukaan berkarpet. Menghayunkan badan ke atas di panggil top-out.
Di tingkat 2, terdapat beberapa jenis dinding yang boleh
di panjat. Auto wall, yang mana ia merupakan bahagian yang mengguna pakai auto
belayer, jadi sesiapa boleh memanjat seorang diri tanpa memerlukan bantuan
belayer. Selain itu juga, terdapat juga castle wall dan sentinel wall dengan
hampir 40 routes dan bentuk topografi yang berbeza. Namun, bagi mereka yang
inginkan pengalaman seakan-akan mendaki gunung semula jadi, trad wall boleh
memberikan pengalaman tersebut, dimana, tidak seperti wall lain yang mempunyai
grips khas, trad wall di bentuk merupai gunung sebenar tanpa grips. Namun,
beberapa bahagian seperti lubang, lurah dan batu boleh di jadikan tempat
memegang. Personally, kedua-dua jenis dinding mempunyai kelebihan
masing-masing. Untuk trad wall, sungguhpun tiada pemegang khas disediakan,
namun, terdapat lebih banyak bahagian yang boleh di pegang, berbanding dengan
sentinel ataupun castle wall.
Namun begitu, para pendaki boleh memilih tahap
kesukaran yang berbeza untuk memenuhi cita rasa masing masing. Tahap kesukaran
bermula dari tahap 5b, 5b+, 5c, sehingga kepada yang paling mencabar, 8b.
Sungguhpun aku dan abang Kamahl sudah mendaki untuk beberapa tahun, sehingga
kini kami masih jarang mendaki laluan 7a dan ke atas. Aku pernah mencuba untuk
mendaki laluan 7a, namun sering kali terkandas.
September 26, 2014
Dia - Empat Puluh Lapan
Aku mengetuk perlahan pintu HOD ku sebelum membukanya.
“You called, Mr Jason?” tanyaku.
“Yes, give me a second and have a seat.”
Kerusi di hadapan Mr Jason ku tarik sedikit ke kebelakang
sebelum aku duduk. Mr Jason yang masih lagi di dalam perbualan skype call
memberikan isyarat tangan kepadaku supaya tunggu sebentar. Wap panas
samar-samar keluar dari mug yang berada di antara aku dan Mr Jason. Setiap
pelusuk bilik Mr Jason di penuhi dengan aroma freshly brewed coffee yang keluar
dari mug tersebut. The intense and luxurious aroma of Davidoff Coffee slowly
seeps into my body.
“Sorry about that. It seems like our counterpart in
Sydney raised another concern.”
“About what? They are amending the requirements?”
“None of that sort.”
“Ok, I’m listening.”
“They are sending one of their guys over for 6 months as
a consultant next month.”
“Next month, as in next week. Yeah, I’ve heard of that.
Arrangements have been made for it. Down payment for hotel booking has been
paid, and the details have been given to their side. So we are just waiting for
him to get here.”
“And that’s exactly what we need to talk about.”
“What about it?”
“I’ve just been informed that, as a matter of fact, just
when I was having the skype call just now, he is not staying at the hotel.”
“Huh? He doesn’t like the hotel we booked for him?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. They quoted, and I quote; “I’m
not staying in a hotel for 6 months.”
“Huh? So where will he be staying then? My place?
Hahahahahaha.”
Mr Jason tidak menjawab dan reaksi wajahnya tidak berubah
terhadap jenaka kecilku.
“You’re pulling my leg, right?”
“Do I looked like I’m joking?”
“But,.... “
“Ezra, I have to say that I don’t like this idea either.
But, he insisted that he is not staying at a hotel. I can’t have him bunked
with Eddy or Lee for 6 months, they are both married. Plus, you guys will be
working closely for that QP project together.”
“But what about the hotel reservation?”
“I’ve asked Lisa to take care of it.”
“Damn.”
“I know how do you feel. But, I hope you understand that
this associate has been with us for quite some time. And, apparently, this guy
is a big shot over there. So, we can’t afford to say no to him.”
“I guess this is not for a discussion, aite. Let’s hope
that he likes cat.”
“It is not. Now, take this.” Kata Mr Jason sambil
memberikan aku sekeping credit card miliknya.
“What’s this for?”
“I recalled that you stays in a studio apartment, and
apart from your own bed, you only have sofas. Buy something comfortable for him
to sleep on, pillows, towel and such. Charged it to that card. And, since he
will be staying at your house, you’ll be in charge of his transportation too.
So, they will be reimburse you for your hospitality.”
“It better be worth it.”
“15 hundreds per month. Australian Dollar of course.”
“Now that’s doable.”
“So what are you waiting for? Go and get those goddamned
bed or whatever now. He’s coming in next week. So I’m not expecting you in the
office today and maybe tomorrow until you have everything ready for him.”
“He’s really a big shot, huh.”
“Apparently he is.”
Perjalanan ke Ikea hanya mengambil masa lebih kurang
hampir 20 minit dari ofis. “This is not to be expected.” Ngomelku sendirian di
dalam kereta.
“How about I dumped him alone at my place, and I bunked
at abang Kamahl’s?” bisikku perlahan.
“Nah, then I have to pick him up everyday to work.
Subang, Ampang and office. That would be a very bad idea for 6 months. Plus, I
don’t wanna have a stranger staying alone at my place.”
Aku singgah sebentar di Petronas berhampiran untuk
membeli satu tin Nescafe sejuk dan sekotak Dunhill merah. Nescafe tersebut ku
teguk laju dan sebatang rokok dinyalakan sebaik aku melepasi kawasan Petronas
tersebut. Sungguhpun jam baru menunjukkan pukul 10.05 pagi, susur dari LDP ke
Persiaran Surian agak sesak. Pemanduan yang sepatutnya hanya 10 ke 15 minit
dari susur LDP ke Ikea kini mengambil masa hampir 30 minit.
Fikiran aku melayang-layang sementara kakiku menekan
perlahan pedal minyak keretaku. Lama juga aku tidak berkunjung ke kawasan ini.
Well, tiada sebab lagi untuk aku berkunjung ke sini. Biarlah memori itu berlalu
pergi.
Aku menyalakan sebatang lagi rokok dan kereta ku pandu
perlahan. Just nice, rokokku habis terbakar sejurus sebelum aku tiba di kawasan
masuk parkir Ikea. Usually, I don’t really like to go to Ikea. Because of the
layout. And most of the time, things that you need are located at the far end
of the journey. Well, not today since the bedroom area isn’t that far off from
the entrance. But still, all the walking. Sigh. Well at least I don’t have to
fork out my own money and I’m also paid to be a chaperon. Let’s just hope that
he’s not much of a pain in the ass. Anyway, I’m not getting something too bulky
for him since he’s only here for 6 months and there’s not much space in my
unit. Plus, the fact that it’s only gonna be him, for that, I think I’m gonna
opt for a sofa bed.
“So, what’s nice?” tanyaku kepada diri sendiri.
Tidak banyak pilihan sofa bed yang kelihatan pada musim
ini. Hanya beberapa yang menarik perhatianku. Antara yang tersedia, aku
menyenarai pendek Backabro sofa bed with chaise longue dan juga Moheda corner
sofa-bed. Namun, setelah melihat spesifikasi kedua-duanya yang di sediakan, aku
memutuskan untuk memilih Backabro dengan pilihan warna Jonsboda Brown agar
ianya tidak terlalu janggal berada di unitku. Sejurus mengambil article number
untuk pilihanku ini, aku terus menyusuri setiap department di Ikea sebelum tiba
di kaunter pembayaran. Aku meminta mereka untuk menghantarkan sofa bed tersebut
ke rumahku pada petang ini. Setelah mengisi borang maklumat penghantaran, aku
terus berjalan menuju ke Ikano yang terletak bersebelahan untuk ke Macy bagi
mencari barangan yang lain.
Disebabkan aku langsung tidak mengenali Zachary, consultant
yang akan menghabiskan masa 6 bulan di rumahku, aku memutuskan untuk memilih
pilihan warna yang agak selamat dan matching dengan keseluruhan perabut
rumahku. 2 set Charter Club Vail collection comforters, 3 mattress pads, 2 biji
bantal, 3 helai Lacoste Casual Pique Bathrobe Black, Burgundy and Navy setiap
satu, beberapa helai tuala mandi, satu set Art of Shaving Power Shave
collection dan juga satu power adapter.
Seingat aku, aku mempunyai satu power adaptor type 1 yang
kebiasaanya di gunakan di Australia, namun, entah di mana aku letakan di dalam
rumahku. Plug ini agak berlainan dengan plug yang biasa di jumpai di Malaysia
di mana ia adalah sejenis plug yang berbentuk 2 pin besi leper yang membentuk
seakan-akan bentuk V. Plug ini juga kebiasaanya di gunakan di negara-negara
seperti New Zealand, China dan beberapa negara Pasifik yang lain.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Good morning Ezra. So, how have you been feeling
lately?”
“Everything’s great I guess.”
“That’s good. Do you ever feel, lightheaded, dizzy, or
giddy lately?”
“Nope.”
“What about your bowel movement?”
“I would say, pretty much normal.”
“How many times do you usually have it in a day?”
“Once a day, twice at most.”
“What about the colour, and texture. Did you see anything
funny with it?”
“With my stool? Nah. The colour looks fine. If you
insists on the colour, it’s kind of yellowish brown, with sausage-shaped,
smooth and soft appearance.”
“Ok, that sounds like a healthy stool and healthy
digestive system. Do you have any problem urinating? Or, feels anything funny?”
“Nah.”
“Great, can you open your mouth widely?”
Aku hanya menurut permintaan Dr Saiful, doktor yang
merawat aku. Dia menggunakan tongue compressor, kayu seakan-akan batang aiskrim
untuk menggerakkan lidahku untuk melihat keadaan mulutku dengan lebih jelas.
“Everything looks fine. Now just hold still, I’m going to
check your nodes.” Dr Saiful yang sedang berdiri di hadapan aku perlahan-lahan
merasa bahagian tengkuk ku, bermula dari belakang telinga hingga ke pangkal
leher.
“Cervical seems to be ok. Now raised your arm for a while.”
Sekali lagi dia jari jemarinya perlahan merasa kedua-dua bahagain ketiakku.
“Axillary, ok too. Now, I need you stand and lower down
your pants.” Kemudian dia meletakan jarinya di pangkal pehaku, kedua-duanya dan
menekan sedikit. “Inguinal, no problem. Now I need you to lay down on the bed,
we’ll start with the full body check up. Take of your shirt, and lower down
your pants too. You can keep your underwear intact.”
Dr Saiful kemudian meletakan telapak tanganya yang di
depangkan sedikit di atas dadaku. Kemudian dia menggunakan jari tengah kananya
untuk mengetuk perlahan jarinya yang berehat di atas dadaku. Telapak tangan
kirinya berubah ke beberapa tempat di atas dadaku dan proses yang sama di ulang
semua. “That sounds good. Now I’m going to check your liver.” Sekali lagi,
telapak tanganya di letakan di bahagian bawah sangkar rusukku sebelum dia
mengetuk jarinya ke atas jari tengahnya. Ok, I need you relax for a while, I am
going to slowly push my hand under your ribcage.” Perlahan-lahan, dia menolak
tanganya ke dalam di bahagian bawah sangkar rusukku.
“Try to relax, I know you have been hitting the gym, but
try to relax your abdomen. Ok. Your liver seems to be in normal shape and size.
So now we are going to proceed with your groin and genital area. Are you ok
with that?”
“Yeah sure. Do you want me to take off my underwear?”
“Just lower it down a little bit.”
Dr Saiful kemudian perlahan memegang koteku. Dia melihat
dengan teliti di bahagian kepala, batang dan perlahan-lahan memegang kedua
telurku.
“Ok, everything is fine. Now, lay down in fetal position,
with your back facing me.”
“Aaah, I was hoping that you’ll skip that. Hahahaha.”
“Hahaha, any specific reason for that?”
“Nothing actually. Just, it’s kinda embarassing.”
“Owh. Well, it’s to check on your prostate. But, if you
don’t want me to do it, no problem, plus, your previous examination seems to be
fine.”
“Nah, since you’re just done checking my penis, might as well
have you check my ass too. Plus, it’s for my health anyway.”
“Ok then. Again, just relax.” Aku dapat merasakan tangan
Dr Saiful yang dibaluti dengan sarung tangan getah di letakkan di kedua belah
pipi punggungku. Perlahan-lahan, punggungku di jarakan dan dapat kurasakan satu
jari lagi berada betul-betul di luar lubang punggungku.
“My finger is going in. Just breath normally.” Jari yang
kurasakan sedikit sejuk itu perlahan menujah masuk kedalam lubang duburku.
Kemudian, dia memusingkan jari itu mengikut arah jam, dan mencapai ke
prostatku. Dia menekan perlahan dan merasa akan bentuk dan saiz nya. Aaaah, the
reason why I’m not into prostate examination that much is, not because I feel
embarassed. But, that area hasn’t been touched for quite sometime. And to have
your prostate being examine, it could be a bit arousing. Hahahaha.
“Ok, we are done. Your prostate seems to be in a good
shape. You can put on your clothes back and we’ll talk about your blood
results.”
“Sure.”
“Your physical is in a good shape. There’s nothing for
both of us to worry about. Just that, you’re still smoking?” tanya Dr Saiful
sambil mencuci tangannya dan mengeringkan dengan paper towel.
“Yeah. Hahahaha. That’s one of my dirty indulgence.”
“Your lungs are in a good shape. But, again, try to cut
down on smoking, okay.”
“That would be hard, I have to say.”
“It is, but not impossible. Or at least, try to cut down
a little bit.”
Aku hanya tersenyum akan nasihat dari Dr Saiful itu.
“I’ve taken a look at your blood results before you came
in just now, and everything seems to be in a good shape.”
“That’s good to know. What is my current CD4 reading?”
“Your CD4 count has been steadily increasing since you
started ARV. And the current reading is, 781, with 23% of total lymphocytes.
That is practically the average reading of healthy, or HIV negative people.
Your HIV virus is being well suppressed, being undetectable up until now. Practically,
the chances of you transmitting HIV to anyone is close to none. So, keep that
up.”
“Ok, that’s great.”
“But that doesn’t mean that you can go and have
unprotected sex, okay.”
“Yeah. I understand that.”
“Your liver function test, renal function and full blood
count are all normal. Glucose level is also normal, together with your lipid
profile. Just that, your triglycerides is slightly higher than your previous
results. But, it’s still within the normal range.”
“So, there is nothing to worry about?”
“None. You are a healthy young man. Now, let’s talk more
about HIV. You have been diagnosed since 2009, right. So it has been for few
years.”
“Yeah. November 4th, 2009 to be exact.”
“It’s great that you remember the exact date.”
“Well, I could never ever erase that date.”
“How do you feel about about your HIV diagnosis?”
“Now?”
“Let’s talk about when you just found out.”
“Hell.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Kind of.”
“And how do you feel now? Do you still feel the same
thing?”
“Nah. I’ve stop regretting for a long time. And if I
could say it to myself, I take it as a wake up call. To better protecting
myself, and to be a better person.”
“Are you saying that you weren’t a good guy to begin
with?”
“No, no. But, previously, I stopped taking care of
myself, and I stopped making myself better, physically, mentally and all.”
“That’s good. You have to remember that, and you have to
understand that, being HIV positive should never put a stop to yourself. Being
HIV positive should never make you feel bad about yourself. And being HIV
positive should never put a stop on things that you love to do. Except for
bareback sex, that is.”
“Hahahaha. That’s not a problem for me.”
“Are you still sexually active?”
“Nah.”
“When was the last time you had sex?”
“Few years.”
“Anything that makes you stop having sex?”
“Well, it’s not that I don’t want to have sex. I do. In fact
I have been jerking off to relieve my lust. But, but...”
“But?”
“I think, my priority has changed. I don’t feel like
having sex buddies or one night stand.”
“So you’re thinking on settle down?”
“Maybe. But then again, sex is no longer a priority.”
“Do you ever feel bad? About having sex?”
“No. Well, I did at first, I mean after I was diagnosed.
But, now, I don’t think I feel the say way.”
“So you’re ok having sex, with your current status?”
“Yeah. Plus, as you said earlier, with my undetectable
viral load, it’s almost impossible for me to infect others.”
“Yes. And you are healthier than most of the gay guys I
know of. I’m glad that you no longer living in the past, and the fact that you
have accepted the fact that you are HIV positive. You are doing great taking
care of yourself. I wished most of my patients are like you.”
“Thanks Dr.”
“You’re welcome. I know that taking the same medicines everyday
throughout your life might tire you down. So, how are you doing with that?”
“I admit that there are times when I was talking to
myself, that I’m done with it. There are times when I’ve been staring at it for
few minutes. Well, my record isn’t 100%, but I’ve never miss my dose and the
most, I took it 5 or 10 minutes later than my designated date.”
“I don’t see any problem with that at all. I know, it’s a
lifetime commitment, but it’s easier said than done. You don’t have to be a
Nazi, , while you have the pill in your hand, waiting for the time to come. 5
to 10 minutes late is ok.
“That’s a relief.“
“Do you have any other queries?”
“Not at the moment.”
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